Here Lately...

Life has been as crazy and busy as ever - Does anyone ever wonder why we think its going to slow down even though our past has always proved that wrong? I do. And I think that we just like to fool ourselves, try to make our subconscious believe that yes, one day you will be able to manage your time better, soon all your responsibilities will not overwhelm you even though..wait, they will still be overwhelming, and maybe even in the future you will be prepared for whatever life has to throw at you even though wait, that is sort of impossible and inherently stupid.. but of course, YOU will be able to do that. yeah, doesn't make sense to me either. - Anyway, I'm enjoying it and trying to remember to balance work, church, friends, family AND myself all at the same time... moment by moment.

Which brings me to what has been on my mind a lot lately - and how I feel my perspective and (therefore) my actions are changing dramatically because of it - and that is drama. OK well drama in and of itself hasn't really been running through my mind constantly (thank Heavens!) but it definitely sparked the brain waves and - in a round-a-bout sort of way - I'm grateful for it. You see, being 22 years old, female, unmarried, and oh, did I mention female? - drama kind of... finds me. and I'm not OK with it. I mean I never have been alright with drama or attention or rumors about myself (or anyone else) floating around the thick cloud of Mormon gossip that inevitably surrounds any singles branch - but these past 4ish months have seen a lot of "growing up" on the part of Julie and thus I'm even more fed up with the thought. I want to know who likes drama or being dramatic or creating it other than Kate Gosselin or Khloe Kardashian. I don't understand the point of it. I don't understand how people literally have nothing better to do than make a big deal about who is sitting next to who in church or who batted their eyelashes 4 times instead of 2 at someone who is single for goodness sake or who may or may not have been booty dancing down at Beale Saturday night. I mean really. C'mon. I'm not going to lie and say I haven't been caught up in A, B, C, or D) all of the above in the past... but here lately I've been practicing what I like to call "not caring". I don't care who sits next to who in church. I don't care if I'm flirting.. wait, I mean if someone ELSE is flirting with someone they like. I don't care if people get down and dirty on the dance floor. Why would I? (Why would you?) But I do, however, care about the people behind the 'talk'. I care about how their lives are going, if they need a listening ear, if they have a funny joke to tell me or if their classes are kicking their trash. I think we, including myself, forget sometimes the people behind the rumors, the gossip, the drama, and how they are actual human beings. They have what some people like to call 'feelings' with a little dash of 'human nature'. So here lately, that's what I've been trying to remember (and hoping others can too). It's been a really free-ing experience, actually. I've found that I have a happier, more carefree perspective... that my actions are becoming a reflection of who I really am or want to become not of who I think people will see me as... and that I'm going more with the flow of things instead of fighting against them... I can see how people might see this has being nonchalant about seemingly serious things, maybe a little heartless, stuck up, or what have you - (wait, is that drama I hear?) but well, you guessed it - I don't care... and that's just the way I am.

So now that that soap-box has been seriously lathered, I feel a teensy bit better that I got to share it with whatever unfortunate soul has to read it (you're kindasortanotreally welcome!)

OH and these picturas have nothing to do with my rant (or do they ;-) ), just an update...

Morgan and I at the Delta Fair

Levi, Mere muah and Morg :)

Accomplishing

So lately I've been trying to be better - better at being a friend - better at living alone - better at being crafty - better at being healthy - better at being myself - better at spirituality - ya know, all that important stuff - and I feel like I'm getting there little by little... I had a bishop my senior year at school that made a big impact on my life, whether he knew it or not, and for those two semesters he used a little saying as our ward theme and it was : "Try a little harder to be a little better" I think that I forget sometimes that things, that are worthwhile and important, take awhile to mend, to improve, to get better. I forget that its OK and normal and just a part of life. So lately, I've been trying a little harder to remember that.

I noticed that I have neglected my cute little apartment for a little too long since I moved in and started working. Everything got really busy really quickly and I pushed off some things that I really wanted to do... but then when my friends started hanging out at my place more and more I kept getting comments about how bare my walls were and so, on one of my Friday's off I tried to fix that (a little)....

My kitchen - I bought the shadow box art at Bed Bath & Beyond on sale for $4 and I got a few black frames to add my own artwork... my friends!
The other side -- Another shadow box artwork from BB&B and a few pictures (which are of course food related!) and my hanging on the left says "Dinner will be ready when the smoke alarm goes off" :)

I was very proud of myself for this one -- the key hook was heavy metal so I went to Lowe's and the kind man helped me figure out how to hang it up (without a drill) and with a little screwdriver finagling and a hammer, it came out just right. The hanging says "Remember the day's blessings, Forget the day's troubles" :)

My mantle -- I'm still looking for a mirror I love and some sconces, but until then!

and of course my attempt at a frame collage - I know they aren't exactly straight - but I measured everything and hung it all up, and by the end I was pretty worn out - I love it though and was really happy with out it turned out!

Also - I am training for a 5k right now and its 3 weeks away this Saturday! Its going great and I feel healthier than ever - some days are harder than others, and I still get out of bed everyday sore - but I know it will only get better!

The Growler

So I was just reminded of a funny story story that happened to me a few months ago, in the first few weeks that I started my job here in Memphis, and I wanted to share it, because its really too good/weird to not...

So one day, just like any of the rest here in the office, I was drinking some Diet Coke (aka LH) which subsequently caused the need to ahem, relieve myself, in the nearest restroom. Well, I made the familiar trek down the long hallway and to the ladies room. Now, here in the Memphis office at the Fed there aren't many employees, and surprisingly of those, there are very few females, and thus usually when I walk into the bathroom the lights arent on and the sensor kicks in when I open the door. This day was very different. As I opened the door, I noticed the bathroom was already lit up, therefore signifying another lady might also be accompanying me on my bathroom visit, but I still wasnt sure... and if you know me, you know that I am super jumpy and am scared very easily, so I was already a little wary... Anyways, so I opened the door wider and all a sudden I hear a door close behind the wall (where the row of toilets are) and a loud growl comes to my ears. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a GROWL. So I stop short, still holding the door semi-open so I can make my escape if need be, when a little old lady about 5 foot 1 walks out from around the partition... and growls... again. But this time, she is looking straight at me, with her hands up by her face curled into a claw-like fashion (think: tiger) and then all a sudden bursts into laughter. Laugh-ter. Forreal. At this point, her sudden attack (yes, attack) had scared me not once, but twice, so my heart was pounding a little faster and for some reason my feet, or mouth, wouldn't move. When she notices I still hadn't moved, or recognized her existence with any sort of audible word or blink of an eye, she simply says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else". Like its completely normal to be growling at other people in the bathroom, but since it was me, someone she has never seen or talked to, that makes it abnormal. No, lady, its never normal and never OK and it never should happen again, sorry. So she turned around and started washing her hands and I, still not uttering a word, walk straight into a stall to escape... the Growler... which my department has now dubbed her.

When I told my boss this story at lunch that day he told me I should have barked at her. Also, I just ran into her in the bathroom 5 minutes ago and that's what reminded me of that story. Hope you enjoyed.

Drama King...

As most of you know, I am an avid football fan (please refer my blog post last season) Though pro is my forte, I don't descriminate against any others, whether college, highschool or pee-wee.. I enjoy it all... and as we are in the middle of week 3 preseason games, this time around is no different. As most of the nation (lets admit it, the world) knows, there is so much drama and shady crap that goes on in sports, and being the celeb figures they have turned into, NFL players are the drama creme of the crop. Please take for example.. Brett Favre.

He is the epitome of football, and is argueably one of the greatest players of all time. With the records for most career passing touchdowns, yards, completions and attempts (and oh yeah, interceptions...) you can't ignore the fact that football is definitely Favre's forte. But lets step back for a second, behind all his impressive records and rugged good looks (and dont even try to deny it), and please can I ask the question: What in the name of all that is holy is going through his head?!? I don't even know if John Madden could break it down into stupid terms for us, because I'm pretty sure there has been no rhyme or reason to this entire ordeal (which has lasted a painstaking year), other than the bright lights of the media. I mean I know Brett and I arent really on a first name basis and I don't know the exact reason why he's flip flopping and changing his mind every few minutes (oh wait maybe I do.. I used to do that.. when I was 15) but I do know that every football fan across the freakin globe is sick of it. There are a numberless amount of players who quit and are traded and dropped and retire throughout the entire on and off season, without as much of a blink of an eye or a wave goodbye... its football, you switch teams, you get old, you break too many bones, its freakin OK! but to go in and out of retirement 3 (4? 5?) times??! Yeah, maybe even thats ok with me. But to involve everyone else, make a freakin big deal out of Aaron Rogers taking over your spot, leaving the Jets, going back into retirement, and then going to the Vikings (a GB rival, noless) and doing it all in the shining spot light? please, spare me. Not only does it take over sportscenter for weeks at a time, but its a dissapointment. He talks like he's some down-home-Mississippi boy and turns around and pulls a fast one on you (ok multiple fast ones). I'm not ok with that.

Phew. Well now that's out in the open I can also tell you how freakin ridic (i.e. ridiculous) Plaxico Burress is. That's all there is to say about that.

And the world spins madly on....

I remember thinking about a week before I graduated "I can't wait for life to be less stressful so I can finally get some sleep and relax". It never occurred to me, 4 months down the road, I would be busier and (surprise!) more sleep deprived than I ever was during any finals week or procrastination dilemma. But it also never occurred to me, 4 months down the road, I would be moving to Memphis, TN on my own, meeting amazing new people, finding out my strengths..and way too many weaknesses, and learning how to be simply content. Though stability is a little more tangible than it was a few short months ago, things still get shaken up a bit, and I'm still adjusting a little more every day.

People ask me a lot if I like it here, if I feel like I fit in, if I wish I was somewhere else, doing something different...and sometimes I laugh at them (sometimes not the most appropriate reaction, mind you) and confess those questions have never really entered my mind. I never let myself question if this is where I belong, because I've already decided and know that it is, (I mean really, why would I come here if I didn't feel like I should?) and I never let myself focus on the bad (and believe me, there are a lot of crazies here in Memphis), because I know there is so much good and so much to look forward to, and I never allow myself to wish for something or somewhere else, because frankly I am so blessed to be here and doing something I love - why would I wish that?

So. Even though I haven't got the stress-free life I thought post-graduation brought, or a good 8-hour nights rest in weeks, or even took a Saturday afternoon to lounge by the pool... my life is pretty great. I have had a blast exploring Memphrica (as we like to call it), going on my first exam to Hartford, KY, attending my BFFs Ashley (Lund's) wedding reception, visiting my family in NC and going to the beach!!!, and just enjoying the last rays of summer.

Here is a photo log update of the last couple months... (In no particular order...)

Dancing at the Rumba Room - downtown Memphrica

The whole group - we were definitely the life of the party.

My Aunt Katy + cousins came to visit and we went down by the MS river

Cass & I at BB Kings - Beale St!

Ashley (now Lund) looked absolutely stunning and happy at the reception!! :) Jim, Mere and I at the Collective Soul/Gavin Degraw concert - Southaven, MS

me, Josh, JP and Cass at the Redbirds game - on Harry Potter night! :)

Pope's 24th birthday celebration!

4th of July waiting for fireworks on Mud Island

me + my sister = awesome

the sibs (minus christopher) - Sunset Beach, NC

attempting to skimboard again - fail again

A full time tourist

So I have decided that although I am a "permanent" resident of Memphis, TN that I can still be a tourist. Thus, one of my first adventures here in the Rock and Roll Capital of the world involved Beale Street, and you guessed it, none other than the King himself....

I have also begun my grown-up-real-job at the Fed and am (so far) loving it! My first week I went to St. Louis for training and was able to go to 2 Cards games with my new coworkers/friends Meredith and Michael (aka Pope)...


Since then I've been back in Memphis getting settled into office life... until the end of July anyways when my first exam will be!.... and I'm still trying to get used to this Tennessee heat (although I think that is virtually impossible) and loving every minute of meeting new people, learning how to navigate without my trusted tomtom, and really just falling comfortably into a brand new beginning...

Because I'm a grown up...

So I am officially a Memphian (yes, this is what we are called according to FM 100) It has been quite an adventure since I have been here, with moving in... finding furniture... and getting lost everywhere I go... but I had a lot of help (thanks, Mom!) and support (thanks, all my parents!) and really do like it here (surprise!) It definitely is way different than anywhere I have ever lived... for example... the weather! It is hot as hades here! I thought NC was hot and humid, but I had never been to southern Tennessee. It's a good thing I live in an apartment complex with 2 (count them, ONE, TWO) pools! Also, its a good thing that I live in a place with air conditioning (boo ya, Rexburg) So here are a few pictures of my new apartment! Obviously it's a masterpiece in the making so not much to show, except my amazing new furniture!






On a side note, I finally got my cable and internet hooked up (obviously) and before I could even enjoy Sportscenter and Jon and Kate plus 8, my TV decided to bring back the subtitles that won't go away.... yet again... When my cable guy was flipping through the channels to make sure everything was AOK, he noticed them and when I told him they show up randomly and won't go away until I don't know - my temperamental TV wants them to go away - he laughed at me and proceeded to make fun of it. So my task for this morning? Wal-Mart to pick up a new remote that will let me actually control my TV and ridicule from others. :)