Here Lately...

Life has been as crazy and busy as ever - Does anyone ever wonder why we think its going to slow down even though our past has always proved that wrong? I do. And I think that we just like to fool ourselves, try to make our subconscious believe that yes, one day you will be able to manage your time better, soon all your responsibilities will not overwhelm you even though..wait, they will still be overwhelming, and maybe even in the future you will be prepared for whatever life has to throw at you even though wait, that is sort of impossible and inherently stupid.. but of course, YOU will be able to do that. yeah, doesn't make sense to me either. - Anyway, I'm enjoying it and trying to remember to balance work, church, friends, family AND myself all at the same time... moment by moment.

Which brings me to what has been on my mind a lot lately - and how I feel my perspective and (therefore) my actions are changing dramatically because of it - and that is drama. OK well drama in and of itself hasn't really been running through my mind constantly (thank Heavens!) but it definitely sparked the brain waves and - in a round-a-bout sort of way - I'm grateful for it. You see, being 22 years old, female, unmarried, and oh, did I mention female? - drama kind of... finds me. and I'm not OK with it. I mean I never have been alright with drama or attention or rumors about myself (or anyone else) floating around the thick cloud of Mormon gossip that inevitably surrounds any singles branch - but these past 4ish months have seen a lot of "growing up" on the part of Julie and thus I'm even more fed up with the thought. I want to know who likes drama or being dramatic or creating it other than Kate Gosselin or Khloe Kardashian. I don't understand the point of it. I don't understand how people literally have nothing better to do than make a big deal about who is sitting next to who in church or who batted their eyelashes 4 times instead of 2 at someone who is single for goodness sake or who may or may not have been booty dancing down at Beale Saturday night. I mean really. C'mon. I'm not going to lie and say I haven't been caught up in A, B, C, or D) all of the above in the past... but here lately I've been practicing what I like to call "not caring". I don't care who sits next to who in church. I don't care if I'm flirting.. wait, I mean if someone ELSE is flirting with someone they like. I don't care if people get down and dirty on the dance floor. Why would I? (Why would you?) But I do, however, care about the people behind the 'talk'. I care about how their lives are going, if they need a listening ear, if they have a funny joke to tell me or if their classes are kicking their trash. I think we, including myself, forget sometimes the people behind the rumors, the gossip, the drama, and how they are actual human beings. They have what some people like to call 'feelings' with a little dash of 'human nature'. So here lately, that's what I've been trying to remember (and hoping others can too). It's been a really free-ing experience, actually. I've found that I have a happier, more carefree perspective... that my actions are becoming a reflection of who I really am or want to become not of who I think people will see me as... and that I'm going more with the flow of things instead of fighting against them... I can see how people might see this has being nonchalant about seemingly serious things, maybe a little heartless, stuck up, or what have you - (wait, is that drama I hear?) but well, you guessed it - I don't care... and that's just the way I am.

So now that that soap-box has been seriously lathered, I feel a teensy bit better that I got to share it with whatever unfortunate soul has to read it (you're kindasortanotreally welcome!)

OH and these picturas have nothing to do with my rant (or do they ;-) ), just an update...

Morgan and I at the Delta Fair

Levi, Mere muah and Morg :)

Accomplishing

So lately I've been trying to be better - better at being a friend - better at living alone - better at being crafty - better at being healthy - better at being myself - better at spirituality - ya know, all that important stuff - and I feel like I'm getting there little by little... I had a bishop my senior year at school that made a big impact on my life, whether he knew it or not, and for those two semesters he used a little saying as our ward theme and it was : "Try a little harder to be a little better" I think that I forget sometimes that things, that are worthwhile and important, take awhile to mend, to improve, to get better. I forget that its OK and normal and just a part of life. So lately, I've been trying a little harder to remember that.

I noticed that I have neglected my cute little apartment for a little too long since I moved in and started working. Everything got really busy really quickly and I pushed off some things that I really wanted to do... but then when my friends started hanging out at my place more and more I kept getting comments about how bare my walls were and so, on one of my Friday's off I tried to fix that (a little)....

My kitchen - I bought the shadow box art at Bed Bath & Beyond on sale for $4 and I got a few black frames to add my own artwork... my friends!
The other side -- Another shadow box artwork from BB&B and a few pictures (which are of course food related!) and my hanging on the left says "Dinner will be ready when the smoke alarm goes off" :)

I was very proud of myself for this one -- the key hook was heavy metal so I went to Lowe's and the kind man helped me figure out how to hang it up (without a drill) and with a little screwdriver finagling and a hammer, it came out just right. The hanging says "Remember the day's blessings, Forget the day's troubles" :)

My mantle -- I'm still looking for a mirror I love and some sconces, but until then!

and of course my attempt at a frame collage - I know they aren't exactly straight - but I measured everything and hung it all up, and by the end I was pretty worn out - I love it though and was really happy with out it turned out!

Also - I am training for a 5k right now and its 3 weeks away this Saturday! Its going great and I feel healthier than ever - some days are harder than others, and I still get out of bed everyday sore - but I know it will only get better!